So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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