I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
