They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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