if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
