...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
wow bdsm is so cute
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize