): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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