Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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