Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
