who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
