i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize