FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
