I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!