Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
foreskin is a definite game changer
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision