Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize