Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
