i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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