I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We got so high we made milksteak
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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