just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
