Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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