Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
