There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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