I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
tell me about the eggs
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
