Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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