When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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