A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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