Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
