didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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