is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
