ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
