There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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