her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize