he shaved USA in his pubs
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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