I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
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Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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