problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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