He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
