i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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