I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
