38 yer olds are good kisserssss
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
