so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
