I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize