The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
