i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize