So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
