Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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