I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
