After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I think people are normalizing furries
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
