i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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