the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
