Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
