she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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