apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
