Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
