carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
