Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
