I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
someone owes me an orgasm
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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