And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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