whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize