hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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