Quick, to the slutcave!
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
