Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
