I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
