try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
