sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
