She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
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