can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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