Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
