she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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