I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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