you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
