I'm drive I can fine osifer
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize