this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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